More Than a Label- Building confidence as a teen

Do you ever find yourself describing yourself as “dramatic”? Or “shy”? Or “talkative?”

What if the biggest thing holding you back isn’t your confidence, your grades, or your personality… but some label someone gave you years ago that you’re still believing?

Maybe someone once described you as ‘too dramatic,’ and now you feel like you have to hide your emotions.

Maybe you got good grades when you were younger and now everyone expects you to always be the ‘smart one,’ so you feel pressure to be perfect all the time and get into the best college or choose a hard major.

Maybe you tried a sport once when you were younger and someone said you weren’t athletic… so you never tried out for a sport even though you think you might actually enjoy it.

High school has a way of turning one small part of who you are into your whole identity. We group ourselves naturally into cliques based on interests and while that can be beneficial, it can also hinder you when you think you don’t belong somewhere just because you don’t “fit” the profile.

One experience or thought about ourselves doesn’t define us, but after hearing certain things about who we or someone else thinks we are enough time, you start to believe that’s just who you’re destined to be forever.

You act from that identity as if you were born with it. As if it’s branded into your DNA.

But here’s the truth I wish every girl knew in high school:

You are not your labels.

And the moment you stop believing them is the moment you start opening up to all kinds of possibilities 

High school can feel like everyone has a role.

There’s the athletes.
The popular girls.
The quiet ones.
The artsy ones.

And when people put you in one of those categories, it can feel like you're not allowed to change. Even after high school, many girls go on living as if they are that label.

Maybe you’ve always been “the responsible one,” so now you feel pressure to be perfect all the time or take on more than you can handle. 

Or maybe people see you as “the awkward girl,” so you avoid situations where you might embarrass yourself even if it’s something you want to do.

The problem is when you believe the label, you stop trying new things because you think it doesn’t fit who you are or that’s it’s just not destined for you.

But identities are not fixed. You’re literally in a stage of life where you’re discovering who you are. You’re supposed to grow, experiment, and change. 

I’m literally going through that right now. My identity is a mom and a photographer, and now that both of those need me less and less, I am struggling with my new identity…even when I’m not even sure what that is at the moment.

That’s always how I’ve operated in life, so now I find myself in a lost, in-between phase because my identity put me in a box that I felt I had to stay in- not trying much different that deviated from it.

 Labels can quietly limit your life

They don’t just describe you… they limit you.

Imagine a girl who believes she’s “not confident.”
So she doesn’t try out for the team she wants.
She doesn’t raise her hand in class.
She doesn’t go talk to new people.
But it’s not because she can’t do those things. It’s because the label convinced her she can’t.

Now imagine another girl who would describe herself as shy but decides, “That’s not who I really am or who I want to be”

She signs up for something new where she’ll meet new people
She speaks up even when she’s nervous
She slowly builds that confidence until her “shy” identity is overshadowed by her new belief in herself and what she’s capable of.
And that belief changes everything for her and her future.

We get to decide on our identity. No one is assigned anything.
One of the most powerful things you can realize as a teenager is this:

Your identity is something you build and it can be challenged if it’s not who you truly are.

-It’s not something other people get to choose for you.
-If someone once called you shy, that doesn’t mean you can’t become confident.
-If someone called you “bad at school,” that doesn’t mean you can’t become disciplined and focused.
-If someone labeled you as “not talented,” that doesn’t mean you can’t develop skills over time.

And growth is literally the point of life. You’re allowed to evolve. You’re allowed to try things that don’t match the version of you people expect. If you don’t like who you are (not because of anyone else’s opinion) then change it!

Take some time to write down words that make you feel amazing and powerful.

I am…

I am someone who…

See what comes up for you. Then, start acting from that identity. If you want to be someone who leads, what might that look like in your life? If you want to become more outgoing, how can you begin putting yourself out there?

Whether it be ones other’s gave you or one you assigned yourself, you are not your labels. Your identity is personal and only you get to write your story. Who you are today isn’t who you necessarily have to be 5, 10 years from now.